Belgrade is lovely if crazy in its inability to make up its mind whether it is spring or summer or autumn. It is behaving like a mini-England at the moment, but that’s ok by me since I didn’t come here for the weather but for the free babysitters, oh yes.I’ll be here until the end of May, dividing my attentions between my offspring and my mother’s pathologically jealous dog while Z stays in England to earn a living dote on the cats and enjoy the luxurious life of a non-parent.

He keeps maintaining he misses me, which is a noble statement because in his position I think I’d spend at least two days running around the house shouting ‘I’m free! I’m freeee!’ and eating cakes in the bath.

But thankfully what with all these modern technologies to keep a long-distance marriage fresh and exciting I profitted from my internet access to install Skype with video treating Z to some footage of his wrigglz child and a one sided conversation (my throat was too swollen to talk but I nodded and shook my head with gusto to compensate) until he suggested we play charades instead.

Z: Go on, think of a film

N: *thinks of Love In The Time Of Cholera and mimes out the appropriate number of words, then for the first word attempts to create heart shape out of fingers*

Z: Circle! Square! Triangle!

N: *thumps chest*

Z: Left boob! Heart! Heart attack! Pacemaker!

N: *touches chest again and makes boyband hand motions to hopefully convey the giving of one’s heart and thus love*

Z: You want to give me something? Left lung? Lung transplant!

N: *since Z appropriately guessed Time, next attempts to mime out cholera; this proves somewhat more challenging but I gamely put on faces of illness and death*

Z: Illness? Anger! Pregnancy! You’re vomiting! You don’t want to drink tea! You dislike tea!

N: *gestures with hand*

Z: Cheat! There is no film that starts with Sod off!