The music was playing and time was slowing down and flowing around me like water and I was walking to the altar as though in a dream. And then there we were, standing together, he and I with the minister and our two attendants, still giggling at each other like teenagers except by now we had also acquired an identical nervous twitch at the corner of our mouths.
I’ve long believed that somewhere outside our perception of hours and minutes and days the moments we’ve known remain captured and everlasting like images on a film reel.
Somewhere out there I am being born, and my father is young and excited and alive. Somewhere out there my grandmother is playing in the lush gardens of her childhood, before the First World War. And somewhere out there, it is forever my wedding day.
27 Comments
I liked being married (except the end bit, which was the Worst Thing Ever). I think my views on how it differed from my expectations would unfortunately reflect the fact that we went through some extremely difficult circumstances which effectively pushed us apart. I think when you’ve lived with someone for a long time there’s a tendency to think “Well, it won’t be any different, will it?” When in fact it is, it’s a lot deeper than you expect. It’s a lot of a bigger deal than you expect. It means more.
Well done, you! I wish you a very long and happy life together. xx
Congratulations, belatedly! Lovely pictures.
xx
Beautiful pictures! I love the one with Z and the bubble. And is that a bellydancing Nina I spy?
I married somewhat off the cuff. We only decided to do it 6 days prior, and mostly for lousy reasons. And yet it was The Right Thing and The Right Person.
I was living with him at the time, and really did not believe that marriage would make things different. I was wrong and I was right. Marriage, in and of itself, didn’t change us; what did change us was other people’s perceptions of our relationship and our own feelings of “oh my god I am now officially stuck to this person and it is going to cost an awful lot of money and hassle to unstick ourselves.” I spent a lot of time that first year thinking that I was just going to have to kill him to get myself out of it, and just as the people around us were starting to recognize that we were a Serious Thing.
But, murderous thoughts aside, marriage was very sweet and simple, and still is. When I was a child, I thought that marriage would be sort of loudly wonderful, that every second would be filled with unbearable joy and meaning and wonder, and God would open up the heavens and rain down love and….in my disappointment that this didn’t happen, I almost missed the solemn sense of quiet beauty there is in being with someone whom you’ve chosen as a partner. And, when it boils down to it, I think that partnership is the really lovely thing about marriage, and the best thing to come out of it for me.
If I write anything about this, it’ll get very long.
Perhaps I’ll have to do a post myself.
Perhaps that plane you talk about is inside that bubble. I like to think so, and I’m glad you got to add your perfect day to it.
Wishing you much joy ahead.
K
xx
words are scarce these days in my neptunian mind and my progressed scorpio moon heart, yet i am full of peace and knowledge about the subject of marriage that i’d like to try.
i adore the pictures nina, especially of you dancing down the stairs.
because so many of my lessons in life involve deep and unflinching bonds with another, i naturally had no idea what i was doing when i said i do. now it is 9 years later and time has no significance. it’s fun to say oo, 9 years, aren’t we impressive? but really, it is timeless. i have always been with him and always will. my future is never independent of his. i will always think of him and plan for him and carry forward with him.
too many words, i’m about to try too hard. my initial thoughts about it were like line drawings without anything filled in. no weight, just ideas. now they are glorious paintings and i am filled with their delicious heaviness.
If I’m honest, I don’t think marriage changed anything in the relationship between me and my wife. We were already living together and had a 9 month old kid. Having a child was a bigger commitment than saying ‘I do’ in front of a bunch of people.
We had a nice party though.
Oh what beautiful pictures! I’m really happy for you.
many many many congratulations
you look fabulous in those photographs, I love the bubbles
no ideas about marriage though as I haven’t done it yet!!
Congratulations to you both!
bubbles!! [again]
oo arty b&w shots, excellent
i would like captions to know who is who, unless that has been vetoed by people in shot!
I think when you’ve lived with someone for a long time there’s a tendency to think “Well, it won’t be any different, will it?” When in fact it is, it’s a lot deeper than you expect. \
*nods vigorously*
I can relate to that
Well done, you! I wish you a very long and happy life together. xx
Ta
Thank you
And is that a bellydancing Nina I spy?
Indeed it is
The lure of the gypsy tunes proves to be too much.
x
Perhaps I’ll have to do a post myself.
*encourages this line of thought*
Thank you for the lovely wishes.
but really, it is timeless. i have always been with him and always will. my future is never independent of his. i will always think of him and plan for him and carry forward with him.
Thank you, I love this.
Any excuse for a party
Having a child was a bigger commitment than saying ‘I do’ in front of a bunch of people.
I can imagine.
Thank you muchly
Thank you!
The bubbles were great! I reccomend their use for all celebratory occasions.
Many thanks
Re: bubbles!! [again]
i would like captions to know who is who, unless that has been vetoed by people in shot!
I will edit them in presently.
And bubbles are fantastic. I reccomend their use for all festive occasions.
Congratulations!
These pictures are beautiful, b&w but so warm!
Congratulations!
Beautiful pictures! Beautiful event! You all look lovely and smart. Must’ve been tremendous fun, hope to see you soon and congratulate you in person!
Love
Nance
Re: Congratulations!
Hello!
It was great – we all had a good time I think.
Sorry for the delay in replying we were out of the country on the UnOfficial Honeymoon (some free trip to Spain that Z won, what with being Sagittarius) so I didn’t see your comment until now.
I miss you!
Have you moved to Geneva yet? And if not when are you transiting so I can go and stalk you in the appropriate part of the European Union.
Lots of love and hope to see you soon,
Nina
Thank you so much
It was a great day and we had a lovely time.
Re: Congratulations!
Great! I bet you all did!
The move to Geneva will be mid-July. Andrew is already there. I shall be delighted to welcome you wherever I am. So stalk away!
Have you checked out Scott & mine’s recent project yet? Reviewaguy?
“Don’t get mad, be heard!”
It’s pretty awesome. It’s in the content building (beta) stage – so contribute away!
love
N